HARNESS YOUR INNATE ‘SUPER POWER’

Author: Rekha Gupta

In times where perfection is worshipped more than anything else, everyone seems to be chasing a perfect education, job ,career, body…. and hope to derive what they call confidence from it . After all they have worked so hard to keep up with the unseen pressures …..hence if its not best or a bit lower than perfect then the ‘make believe confidence’ goes out of the window, and with it gone, people start feeling joyless.

As much as we all would like to believe (and to a great extent even derive that) the basis for being confident stems out of having tons of friends , fairy tale looks, a certain status, riches , name & fame- this couldn’t be farther away from the truth.

What actually set me thinking in this direction was a recent article I stumbled upon wherein it was mentioned how majority of the movie stars, celebrities needed to be stoned (intoxicated) right before appearing on public platforms, events, functions ….. another fact and known to all is how many of them go ‘under the knife’ , obviously not happy with their looks. That they are a part of a glamour industry means that they are already endowed with many things, many others aren’t – like talent , power, riches, good looks, etc. and In addition the immense fan adulation….all this and still it isn’t enough to give them a basic level of confidence. How can there be such an acute lapse in self worth ? C@Rg

This is a clear example of ‘one judging oneself’ more harshly than others do, that arises from the fear of uncertainties and be in constant denial mode of one’s looks and skills.

In our more than perfect society, existing mostly in our heads, mistakes are kind of stigmatised. As a popular quote goes ‘‘to err is to human” .…. Mistakes are inevitable and are an essential part of learning curriculum.

Problem begins when one chooses to perceive it as an ‘unpardonable mistake’ that one cannot gulp or live with and hence that ‘lowers one’s self esteem’ to the extent of believing that they aren’t capable enough to do any better hence all or any efforts towards trying also stops. And there goes a million dreams per day .

Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you are better than others OR being loud to put your point across OR suppressing other voices to state a opinion or a lie like the truth.This is actually a cover up, instantly recognisable by people and extremely putting off to say the least .

The external approach to attaining confidence – like to start dressing up better, going to the gym, walking with a firm gait holding eye contact, firm hand shakes – may work for a while with a few people, but in reality is as short lived as all other external things.

All external factors maybe important for personal growth but it is essential to have the clarity that confidence in reality has nothing to do with any of the external assets , and hence its safe to deduce that working on external aspects won’t build confidence .

Truth is – to be really confident ,one needs to be okay with what one’s shortcomings.

It isn’t what others think of me , rather its about ‘how I perceive myself in my head’. Yes you guessed it right – Its mostly INTERNAL , its a feeling, my emotional state of mind. Its the internal spring that keeps alive a million other springs of action.

Confidence means sustainability in all circumstances.

Its walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

Its not just about preparing to be your best ,its about accepting that making mistakes is normal ,its about accepting failure . (Cliched and easier said than done, but nonetheless – important)

This in no way implies you to be comfortable with your failures but simply accept it and move on. In a lighter vein, you being comfortable with this also means people are no longer interested in judging you therefore it allows you to act without fear, to again take another shot or all that is required to take that giant leap of faith.

Self doubt kills more dreams than failure did . Despite life being a curve ,one needs to bounce back with all might.There ain’t any another way.

As a popular proverb goes: Only fools believe to know all.

Preparing to step out of ones comfort zone works differently for different people. As for me : ‘I make powerful visualisations ‘ to give myself that wee bit extra zing thats needed and one such great example for me is : Edmund Hilary & Sherpa Tenzing who scaled the height of Mt. Everest – Standing afoot at the base of the mountain, looking up at the tallest peak, they neither were daunted by the tallest peak nor ruffled by the fact that none succeeded before them in this challenging task. Their belief & confidence in themselves overpowered apprehensions if any, thereby making them the the very first to scale the Mount Everest. And believe me these reaffirmations are super reminders on how we need to just give everything our best shot. C@Rg

Signs to recognise THOSE WHO EXUDE CONFIDENCE …..

Confidence is just that ”silent ” , they are comfortable in their skin, believe 100 % in themselves, content with who they are and what they have.

Their energy introduces them before they introduce themselves.

They remain connected to their roots and values and living in synch with them, doing only that their conscience believes to be right.

Innate silent confidence obviously will always beat the loud thats laden with insecurity.

They are active listeners during a conversation ,giving their undivided attention then wait for their turn to reflect back on what they heard.

They are child like curious , won’t hesitate to ask questions as they are in a continuous process of learning, so aim to clear doubts.

Confidence isn’t boasting of knowing all and doing all right ,Its about being a curious learner.

Competition doesn’t exist for them, its all about personal growth.

They are so self assured that Praising & appreciating others at the smallest opportunity ,comes naturally to them.

They are confident of becoming their best hence do not need validation of others , they bask in their ”commitment of self growth”.

They are humble but strong mentally & emotionally , silent but wise when to speak their mind & when to take a stand.

They are open to constructive criticism to be able to see a point rationally from another perspective.

They have a way of making others feel comfortable in their presence.

They know asking doesnt imply weakness ,so they dont shy away from seeking guidance .

Their vocabulary is a choice of all positive words as they know the ”Power of Words”.You will never catch them say ”its impossible or they can not”. They are more likely to be saying ”Oh never done it before but this sure seems to be fun to try out”.

They are willing to step out of their comfort zone as they realise, nothing great was ever achieved within the comfort zone.

This Innate Silent Confidence is so very Attractive.

Example of demonstrating silent confidence at its best is the renowned – Sachin Tendulkar that I love as much as I loved his game, just like you all ! Sachin is acclaimed for his incomparable records yet one tiny slip and there would be a barrage by critics , to this a journalist once asked him as to Why doesn’t he ever answer his critiques ? To which he replied calmly that each time ‘ Its my bat that answers the critiques’ .C@Rg

CONCLUSION: TO REMAIN FOCUSSED ONLY ON SOMETHING THAT TRULY MATTERS’ and not to be diverted by any provocation or be engaged in any negativity. Teach your children to train themselves internally and harness the superpower called confidence the way it is meant to be. If you were to depend on external factors , then your confidence is as fluid and transient as those factors.

Confidence in one-self is a Super mental and emotional power , you have won before you started.

Author Rekha Gupta