APPRECIATION – A Dying Emotion

Author Rekha Gupta

”To be appreciated” is a universal desire & reaffirmation of  acceptance . “To appreciate” is a sign of Gratitude.

Do we recollect the last time we gave a compliment ? or the last time we were complimented. We secretly love it, when we are complimented, yet we forget to do it ourselves? No? C@Rg

Appreciation is an underrated emotion /gesture, that on the surface level has the power to change or uplift another one’s mood and his state of mind . On a deeper level, the other person starts to feel and think differently about himself than before, which boosts his  confidence, slowly  grooming his personality too, with each reaffirmation. Well for the person who is appreciating, his state of mind will be happy always- Guaranteed. In fact you will be surprised to know that lack of appreciation accounts for major depression and mental health illnesses across the world. Its time we elevated this small, harmless but huge act of kindness.

Appreciation is not just restricted to vanity based compliments, (though thats important too). It may extend to just about anything. It is an acknowledgement and a state of constant gratitude . To tell someone that ‘you look so beautiful / handsome today’ , OR ‘I like what you are wearing ‘ are some very basic day to day ways of acknowledging the effort someone has put in while coming to see you . When you and I are invited over for dinner by a friend who has spent the entire day in trying to make it a very special evening for us ,then is it not befitting on our part to verbalise that ‘how happy we are at this special invite and say how grateful we are to the hostess who has painstakingly turned out a gourmet spread for us. (even if it is not gourmet, go ahead and just appreciate) . When your kids, don’t get desired marks, you can still always say, ‘ I appreciate the effort you put in’ , i am positive next time you ll give your best’. When a junior misses a deadline on an important project, you can still smile and say, ‘I value your support‘.

Its so simple, yet so difficult

So gratifying, yet we escape

So needed, but so ignored

much to be valued, but greatly undervalued

Such is the state of this emotion called Appreciation

Appreciation is a Reciprocal Gesture: Someone may not be seeking appreciation but its just that they did their best, so now its you and I who have to reciprocate so as to make them feel it was truly worth it. Every gesture however small or big needs to be appreciated.

Appreciating is an Etiquette : Yes it is, And saying thank you is not enough, go ahead and compliment more.

There could me multiple reasons for people not being appreciative ; At times people want to but they are plain and simple shy /hesitant /awkward of doing so . It may be seen as a sign of emotional weakness , conceding you are inferior and the other is superior. Some are simply self-absorbed and prone to grandiosity . Some resist doing it as they have a strong sense of entitlement ,consumed by their ego ; maybe to acknowledge is not a part of their behavioural repertoire . Some are plain and simple rude and egoistical- Some others feel appreciation may backfire, like a kid may become complacent or a subordinate high headed. This is why the need to fortify this emotion for all the correct reasons is imperative.

I, since childhood have always had huge appreciation for everything and everyone around me – for every act of their’s, I would be complimenting them. But people would actually react in a quizzical manner or give a strange look. For years this went on, till I realised that it is actually a very UNCOMMON phenomena . People are just not used to it, which really is sad.

When someone who has made a huge difference to your life, who has spent his -energy, time ,money, health for your betterment, he sure does deserve firstly an acknowledgement and then appreciation : in words then in your actions and always. But after getting the favours done, not only does one severe relations instead of nurturing them, it also reflects your total lack of gratitude to a blessing. When a blessing is bestowed upon you, the only way to make it last is, by being in a state of constant gratitude.

Remember acknowledgement and gratitude precede appreciation.

You need to firstly be appreciative of yourself ,in gratitude for what you have and who you have in your life , happy and content in your state, whether less or more then anyone else. Once you are in this comfortable space, appreciation will come easy: You will be:

1 Breaking the barrier of hesitancy thus emerging more confident than ever before .

2 Rising above your ego thereby learning again a great virtue ‘humility’ .

3. Able to connect to another one instantly

4 . Happy for hours as making someone else happy will reflect back on you. TRY

Appreciating is a gesture that speaks volumes about you, not the other person . Your not acknowledging, non- approbation or ingratitude, defines you not them. Do not ever think that you are doing anyone a favour by appreciating. A diamond whether appreciated or not will still be a diamond, will continue to glow in all its glory, The other person with his capabilities , hard work and focus will certainly reach the heights he deserves, so why not be a part of his happy successful journey . The feeling that you may have played a small tiny role in somewhat appreciating and thereby encouraging him is incomparable.

A word of caution here for people who are constantly appreciated : Never take them who appreciate you, for granted …appreciate them for appreciating you.

The beauty of appreciation is enormous, as it connects two people into an unseen bond instantly. Appreciation has to be genuine however little it may be. Remember only a genuine vibe will get a genuine response and not be mistaken for flattery. It is a simple gesture so we will not complicate it by discussing when and how much and to whom. Lets keep it simple, genuine at all times and as frequently as possible. One doesn’t have to be family, friend or an acquaintance, – even a stranger can appreciate a stranger, the old to the young, a senior to the junior or vice-versa . ( Why not start by telling our car cleaner that he did a brilliant job today, without worrying that he may ask for a salary hike– try & see the effect) It doesn’t cost anything , neither time nor money or energy, yet people hold on to it. Please let go and appreciate.

We spend our entire lives and our energy, time and money in trying to create beauty all around us in every  possible way, in and around our home and work place but everything we are doing is on the outside. Its time for you and I to create beauty within so as to restore our soul to purity. As when we create the beauty of acknowledging , appreciation within , we only are the first ones to feel it’s beauty, then we radiate that beauty outside to another .

And finally my post would be incomplete without appreciating and thanking all my dear readers for reading my posts (the lengthy ones too😝), appreciating and encouraging me always . This blog journey would have been no fun without you all.

Author Rekha Gupta

If you enjoyed this ,you will enjoy this too : Can we give up being Judgemental

©copyrighthttps://blogitwithrekha.com/2020/06/19/can-we-give-up-being-judgemental/